the rabbit died

so...
as i get older
i'm noticing that some memories
from my childhood are becoming
more & more fleeting.

so i'm going to start trying to
write them down as
they come to me.
those memories i don't want to forget.
things that defined me.
my character
my hang-ups
my insecurities
my sense of humor
my neuroses
the things i love and what
has become my nostalgia.

tonight, while in the shower,
i remembered a snatch of a memory
from when we lived in Fort Irwin, California.

i was sitting on the couch.
my mom & her friend, Jolito's mom,
were leaning against
the doorway that led to the kitchen.
talking in hushed tones.

i remember hearing the phrase
"the rabbit died."
i didn't understand what it
meant but it sounded very
adult. very private.
a secret.

i never knew what it meant.
but as the memory flashed back,
i felt the need to investigate.

the rabbit died.

and there you have it.
some time later it was announced that
my little brother was on the way.

that's a good one.