1.17.2008
brilliant or bat shit crazy? pt. 1
is she an evil genius
pulling off the greatest
and most elaborate marketing
and promotions
campaign/hoax of all time?
or is she publicly losing
her sanity, not to mention her kids?
let's forgo the legal drama
for a sec regarding her parenting
skills or lack there of
and instead explore the first option:
evil genius-ness.
to date, she's garnered MILLIONS
and MILLIONS of dollars and hours
in FREE press.
she's on the cover of EVERY
gossip glossy, on EVERY celeb
blog that exists, has multiple
stories about the mess she's become
on every entertainment show,
her every move is documented,
they devote whole segments
of morning and cable news shows
to her, she's late night monologue
gold, she has a
VH1 Behind the Music
and an E! Hollywood story.
granted the stories and corresponding
photos are VERY unflattering,
sad, shocking, unbelievably dumb
and probably embarassing,
but they KEEP her name
in the press. DAILY.
Paris who? Lindsey what?
their past
shenanigans & debauchery
look silly & trite compared
to the MONOPOLY Brit Brit has on the
celebrity press circuit these days.
it seems she covets the spotlight
by repeatedly frequenting
all the same
gas stations and grocery stores,
restaurants and Starbucks,
making the job of paparazzzi
easy as well as sleazy,
blatantly goading them
by doing batty things
like speaking in a British accent,
displaying her mamms sans bra,
pretending to buy pregnancy tests,
hiring a random married paparazzi
as her assistant,
"losing" her camera's memory card
among a throng of photographers,
constantly coming out the house
in stained clothing,
looking unkept and
a hot crazy mess...
and we watch.
giving her more
[gimme, gimme more!]
of what she wants.
she's got us invested.
we discuss.
we judge. we chastise.
we blog. [yea, i know]
we suck our teeth
wag our fingers.
giggle and repeat.
then wait for
the next fuck up or
maybe her redemption song.
we wait impatiently for
her next move...
whatever that might be.
and whatever it is...
we're already signed up for it.
locked and loaded,
ready to shoot off
our mouths about it.
she's got us by the balls, ya'll.
and we sit poised to gobble
it ALL up. ALL of it.
even if it's ugly.
"it's Britney bitch."
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3 comments:
Spears tale veers from tawdry to tragic
Rather than hound the crisis-bound performer, the media could use her story to educate others on mental illness.
By Neal Justin, Star Tribune
Last update: January 21, 2008 - 5:18 PM
Britney Spears has provided me with endless hours of entertainment over the past seven years, and I'm not just talking about her softcore-porn music videos. I'm referring to the quickie marriage in Las Vegas, K-Fed, the Madonna smooch session, the missing underwear. Good, outrageous stuff.
But laughing at Spears isn't fun anymore.
From the moment she shaved her head last February to her recent stint in a psychiatric ward, the Spears story has switched from gossip to tragedy. I no longer take giddy pleasure in her latest "oops" incident. Instead, I have a sickening feeling that we're witnessing a slow, agonizing death -- and the paparazzi is there to capture every moment.
Depending on In Touch Weekly and TMZ to accurately and fairly record such traumatic fare is like having the hospital custodian perform open-heart surgery. I've spent some time among these lens lurkers and they are among the most insensitive, unethical goons you'll ever meet, barking rudely at people to show off a little skin and hiding behind bushes, a tough feat considering many of these guys are quite overweight. The fact that Spears was dating a member of that pack is additional proof that she's extremely troubled. No surprise that he took full advantage of the relationship by selling photos of his momentary girlfriend and alerting his buddies about her next stumble into the public.
This is serious business about a young woman in the midst of a serious crisis, and it no longer belongs in the same arena as Nicole Kidman's pregnancy, Pamela Anderson's divorce and the feuds on "The Hills." In terms of news value, it has more in common with the story of that teenager who went missing in Aruba, except in this case, we've got someone who's gotten lost right before our eyes.
Some people get it. A recent memo from the Associated Press' assistant bureau chief in Los Angeles instructed staffers that "virtually everything involving Britney is a big deal."
But the vast majority of media gatekeepers will most likely argue that celebrity meltdowns don't count as important news. Usually, they'd be right.
Most of the time, it's entirely appropriate -- and a big relief -- to let the bottom feeders cover celebrity screw-ups, satisfying our base desire to watch the rich and famous behave as inappropriately as we did the last time we sucked down too many cocktails and made out with the hat rack.
But the threat-level-orange (make that neon orange) egregiousness of the recent Spears incidents makes her a special case.
To a significant segment of our population -- almost anyone under the age of 25 -- Spears is (or was) as much a part of their cultural landscape as any presidential candidate or foreign leader. Cringe at that fact all you want, but a young woman who sells more than 83 million albums is a VIP any way you slice it.
Then there are the two little kids involved. In her new single, she sings: "I guess I can't see the harm in working and being a mama." Uh, the harm, Britney, is that you're doing a horrible job in both departments -- and that should be of concern to more Americans than those trolling the Internet for juicy gossip.
Spears' actions also give the media an opportunity to explore an all-encompassing list of broadbased issues: depression, addiction, mental illness, child welfare. I was certain that the news of sister Jamie Lynn Spears getting pregnant at age 16 would trigger an avalanche of newspaper stories on teen pregnancy. I was wrong; it was a mere trickle. We can expect speculation over whether Britney bought a pregnancy test to get more attention from the media than the question of whether she's suicidal -- although the Associated Press has already prepared an obituary.
Roy Peter Clark, one of the best writing coaches in the country, has contributed a terrific piece to poynter.org that challenges bona fide journalists to use the Britney Spears ordeal as an excuse to churn out more pieces on mental illness. Let's hope he gets some takers.
It may be hard to envision Spears as a sympathetic character. After all, she's made loads of money and had loads of opportunities, both with the amount of talent that would have a hard time squeezing into a thong.
But, as far as I can tell, Spears is not a mean-spirited person. It doesn't take a psych major to tell that this is a woman screaming out for help, and that the people closest to her are ill equipped, or unwilling, to hear her cries.
I'm not the person to beg Spears to seek some legitimate help, although I suspect I'd be a more valuable counselor than Dr. Phil. I can ask that we all stop trolling the Internet for the latest gossip, turn off the tube everytime TMZ gleefully reports her latest mishap and boycott tabloid magazines that use her predicament as cover material.
Instead, it's time to send some responsible coverage, and a few prayers, in her direction.
But we'd better hurry. Both we and Spears may be running out of time.
http://www.startribune.com/entertainment/tv/13953736.html
I just wanna say that bat shit insane is my favorite phrase ever. I can't wait until the day it's applied to me.
well hey
if you were followed around like THAT by paparazzi..
id go crazy too
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